So honestly, things have been a little stressful around the Williams home lately. I hate that! I hate that I can't get control over my emotions and be able to at least compartmentalize (is that a word?) things. Instead one source of stress spreads into another and before you know it, it's like a costco size bottle of maple syrup all over the kitchen floor.
I know that attitude mostly spreads from the top down...law of gravity, right? Here is a typical day last week. When I am concerned about something (Larsen family, Mom and Dad, our children, Cal handling all  the travel he has to do for his job, my messy house, my church calling) and feel the strain of life that I snap at Taylor or Syd for not getting their laundry put away (have you seen my PILES of laundry in my closet?!!) , then the younger kids come home, they are chasing each other, Afton is trying to do her homework, Tay is studying for a test, Syd needs to be brought up to cheer...screaming, yelling, gnashing of teeth...Taylor cracks and yells at Kenner and Abbie for being loud, Abbie cries because she is the princess and should never be yelled at, then I FREAK OUT and yell at everyone because "I cannot feel the Spirit with all this yelling!" No honestly...ask the kids...typical day from last week and maybe even the week before.
I have been trying to think of what I need to do to make things better and simplify life a bit. If life is already simplified, then when things are "thrown" your way, it is a bit easier to handle. The kids schedules are crazy. I am now at that stage of life. It is so hard to find one time to read scriptures when we are all together. There is a power in reading together as a family-especially the Book of Mormon. We read just about every morning but it is seperately before each group of children leave...we need the family bond of reading together. My favorite feeling-the one that brings the most peace (besides the temple) is when we are all together discussing the scriptures and having prayer-there is a feeling of safety. I somehow just have to make it work.
I am in the process of doing the January de-clutter and organize-that should help. I have a vision...we will see. Sometimes I think, if I could just have a week in my house by myself, I could get it all done. I would just work, work, work. It will never happen but if we don't dream, we have nothing!
I try so hard to make sure that when the kids come home, things are in order, classical music is playing, snack is ready-sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't but I for sure see a difference when it  does-I am calmer as well. Again-I set the tone.
Yes, this has become my own journal...glad there are not a lot of followers-I am not super keen on opening my soul to the world but I do need to get my feelings written-it is therapy.
I NEED to go study my scriptures. The Lord has some things to tell me this morning, then off to the basement to tackle storage. Then the grocery store, goodwill drop-off, car wash, gas station....